That Lezzie Thing...

So, after my short-lived love affair, I've returned to the mental musings of a lezzie. I guess that just means my primary orientation is lezzie? I don't know, whatever...

So, on Saturday a couple of my very bestest (lezzie) friends came to the milonga. (Since all my Pre-Tango friends have dropped off my social spectrum, I've realized I have to import them!) Now, these are the friends from this post, the ones that I always feel comfortable with, the ones that I can cry or scream or laugh or just simply be with. But it was a bit weird for me.

Here's why.

When I tango, it's a different side of me. The me that is completely feminine. (I didn't realize I am so compartmentalized....think I need to work on integration?) And with these friends, well....we are part of a drag king troupe. We spend our free time as male impersonators. It was weird to have the two worlds come crashing together. I had a few moments of feeling very exposed when I was embraced by one of my tango crushes....because I love being in his arms so much. (For the record, this is totally my own insecurity--these friends would love me even if I grew 6 heads. In fact, they'd love me 6x as much.)

This is so weird to me, friends. I am so confused about where I am on the spectrum right now. Now that I'm settled with being attracted to men as well as women, I think it's time to sort out what to do with all these facets of masculine and feminine.

I like that I can work on my car and then dress in sexy clothes and dance. But maybe there's a way to integrate those sides without it being so drastic.

Less drama, more flow...