Monday, August 4, 2008

Love your children

What I do shouldn't be considered extraordinary. It should be the minimum that each and every child gets from each and every parent. It's not right that the wonderful boy I have in my home is being told he is lucky to have someone see the good in him. What's wrong with our society that it is a "lucky" thing to be loved, to be appreciated, to be seen, to have someone see you for the miracle you are?

And you know what? I'm not even the "good" mom. If I were the mom I wish I were, I'd actually LOVE game night, not just tolerate it. I wouldn't skip out on my kids to go dance tango. I would be eternally patient and truly value each little thing that they do, rather than wish they would hurry hurry hurry up. I wouldn't rush them through the bedtime ritual because I wanted alone time. I would love that my 8 year old still wants to sleep with me, so I could noozle his little boy head that is growing too fast.

but instead, I do the minimum of at least LOVING them. so why can't everyone else?


Shine said...

Don't be so hard on yourself. We all need time to ourselves in every day. You are a wonderful mother (and who should know better than your old uh...nanny?)

Anonymous said...

Have you found that Tango has had any effect on your parenting, either good or bad?

Schrack Attack said...

I have been feeling some of the same things lately. I am trying to focus on being more in the moment whether it is 3 am and my daughter wants sneak into my bed and take my covers or if she is begging me to watch her cut a thousand strips of paper and all I want to do is sink into the couch with the remote. Take the time for the little ones and time for yourself. Don't beat yourself up, everyone needs a break.

Mtnhighmama said...

Johanna, I think I'll answer that in a separate post.

Don't misunderstand my post, I don't feel badly about my parenting. I give these kids all my love, even when I am sighing and frustrated, when I'm negotiating chores, when I want to strangle my 19 year old. I am a good parent. I'm actually a wonderful parent. And I enjoy it.

I don't feel badly that I can't be other than I am. That would be hypocritical. I love them for who they are, challenges and all, and have to model that by loving myself....challenges and all.

Anonymous said...

Actually, I think you misunderstood my question :-) You sound like Parent of the Year to me.

I meant, what skills/abilities/lessons did tango bring to you (if any), which you feel have affected your parenting skills?

Mtnhighmama said...

Johanna, I think I did actually get your question and I love the idea of that as a post. The second part of my comment was for the people that reassured me that I'm still a good parent, despite my foibles. (thanks, ladies).

I've thought a lot about parenting and how tango affects it. It's pretty profound (but it's tango, so of course it is, yes?)

Stay tuned for that post!