All that fretting? It was for naught. I had a perfectly pleasant milonga.
There were more leads than follows this evening, making me in demand. Which was lovely. And the one I was hoping to avoid that bashed me into people last week?, he wasn't there!
The unfortunate part of more leads than follows, though, is that I get asked by people that rarely ask and have to turn them down. It happened at least 6 times this evening! Such a loss.
What is funny to me is the story before I got to the milonga. All day I talked myself up, thought pleasant things, was excited to wear new shoes (not the super special shoes, just new sandals), got dressed up nicely, put on makeup and apparently smelled quite nice as well. And then, instead of going straight to the milonga, I made a detour. A detour to the house of friends that are good for prolonging the inevitable. These are the friends that I can just drop in on, still in my pj's, and have a cup of coffee that lasts for hours. And that's just what happened...I procrastinated. For a couple hours. Suddenly, it was 10:45 and I had managed to procrastinate through my entire evening. Which would have been fine if I had a crappy milonga in my future, but instead I missed out on one of the more enjoyable ones I've had lately.
Not that my friends weren't equally enjoyable, they are. But they aren't tango friends. :)
Of course, maybe they, and their good company, contributed to my excellent mood.
I want to thank the gentleman that actually led to my level, and seemed to enjoy our dance. He was someone I dance with rarely, but he invited me for a second tanda and I was able to just really enjoy the dance as I knew that he would dance just slightly above my level to keep me interested/challenged, but wouldn't throw all kind of expectations at me I couldn't meet. They were my nicest tandas of the night.
5 comments:
I am the queen of pre-tango procrastination. I'm always, always late to the milonga. I've been doing this a while now, but it's still a struggle to get out the door, every time. Every time, I labour under the illusion that I'd rather stay home and do something 'safe' instead. Every time I have to make myself go, and of course every time I'm glad I did.
I have friends who talk about how excited they get before a milonga. I would love to be like that! I only get excited in retrospect. Beforehand, I just get nervous.
It's weird, cos it's not like I don't love it. Tango grabbed me on day one, and has since changed my life and taken me half way round the world. But still, every time, I have that little fear barrier to clamber over.
Oh! Thank goodness I'm not the only one! I thought for sure I might be the only person out there that semi-dreaded at the same time as yearned for that next tanda.
I forgot to add,
At least until I get there. Then, it's joy.
No - you're not alone! This is oneof the reasons I'm so passive in getting dances - I almost never ask, and find it hard to actively cabaceo. It's just rubbish, I know. But for some reason I have the courage to get up and dance when asked, but not to go out and seek a dance (unless I know we dance well together). I guess I'm scared to take the responsibility!
I don't know about you, but I think that for me some of it is the vulnerability. I can't hide when I'm dancing, and my heart is so open that I feel a little wary of placing myself in that emotional vulnerability each time.
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