Saturday, June 21, 2008


You asked me to dance. We got one song in before the tanda ended, but you held onto me, an invitation I accepted. And then you started to knew it was likely going to be a milonga tanda. And I saw you looking for a way to get out. You made some comment about milongas being demanding, and I saw you look around. At that point, I gracefully let you off the hook.

Nevermind that I love milongas, nevermind that I actually dance them fairly well, nevermind that you could have said thank you and escorted me off the floor after the first song....

So I quickly exited the floor while you scurried off to find the one you really wanted to dance with, and sat that tanda out.

Several tandas later you approached me and instead of just offering an apology and an offer to dance, you told me that milongas are challenging to dance, and there are really only a few people you want to dance them with. (read: and you aren't one of them)

And because my mother taught me to be nice, to think of others first, to imagine how they feel...I said that yes, of course it was fine, of course I understood, and certainly I would be happy to dance this tanda with you.

But you know what? It wasn't fine. Oh, you wanting to dance the tanda with someone else was fine. But what wasn't fine was you explaining it away. And it certainly didn't help that the make-up tanda was crap...

Next time, all you need to say is "I'm sorry I left you in the middle of the song. Thank you so much for your graciousness, and if you'll have me, I'd love to dance this tanda with you." And then make it the best damn tanda ever.

Please see update here.

No comments: