Saturday, May 31, 2008

Leading above my ability...

I have some apprehension about dancing tonight.

I have made a conscious choice to enjoy each step of learning to tango. Sometimes this means I take longer to learn something, or I want to feel more comfortable in it before I dance it at the milonga.

I am a fledgling here, my feathers are still downy and not quite slick yet, and I'm ok with that. In fact, I am so enjoying the learning process and feel no desire to rush, but rather to learn at a pace that allows the information to sink into my head and my body. A tango friend of mine, and more experienced dancer, looked at me incredulously when I stated I wasn't ready to learn a certain move yet, that I needed to work on my walk and my balance a little more.

At the milongas, it's not enough. I am being asked to dance steps I don't know, and I miss the lead, and I can feel that this is frustrating to my lead. I can understand that, I really can.

So, what do I do? I want our dance to be as satisfying for me as for him. Do I let him know I am a beginner? I hate to set myself up for a pity tanda. So I just continue to dance to the extent I know and apologize when I miss his lead? What do I do? I hate knowing that they are feeling unfulfilled in our dance.

And so, as I think on tonight's milonga, I feel a little bit of apprehension.


msHedgehog said...

Never apologise. It just makes them worry. If he asked you, you're good enough for him, and it's up to him to find out what you can do. Just keep going and the problem will go away all by itself (quicker than you think, if you dance every week). I don't think there's anything you can do about it except dance at least once a week. Really, it worked for me. If you notice what it was that you didn't get or couldn't deliver, and don't stress about it, and then you'll notice again when you can deliver it and you'll get a definite sense of progress and the whole "can't do that - yet" becomes rather fun, with the anticipation of being able to do it some time.

Mtnhighmama said...

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I dance a couple of times a week, so I hope that in time I can mark that progression you speak of.