Thursday, November 5, 2009

Back from New York

What a wonderful week in the city with the Parents and their children. The weather was divine, with crisp in the air, leaves falling everywhere, and the beginnings of scarf temperatures!

I danced. Some very fantastic dances and the worst dance I've ever had as well.

And I spent lots of time with the Parents and their kids. What a joy it was to see them as a family. I wondered if the children would know me, at least a little. The 2 1/2 yr old knew who I was, because his parents talk about me and have pictures of me around. But he didn't know me beyond that. And the twins, they didn't seem to have any special memory of me either. And I wondered, before I got there, how I'd feel if they didn't.

And I felt relieved! It was amazing to see their family. To get to part of their day-to-day as a friend, but to not be pregnant, to not be the one making their dreams true, to just be a treasured friend. It was so perfectly right that the babies didn't know me, and that Tor was shy with me.

Surrogacy has new adventures for me all the time. I wasn't sure completely what I would feel seeing Tor and the babies again. Would I feel a tug of connection? Would I feel some sadness? Would I feel judgmental about how they parent? I really had no idea. But what I felt was satisfaction and completion. I realized, it doesn't really matter to me whether people know how the children got here, and it doesn't even really matter to me if the children know how they got here. Of course, I can say that knowing that the Parents love me, that they honor our experience together, and that the children DO know how much love they were made with. If I weren't so appreciated and treated with such respect, maybe I would feel different?

Again, I am awed by what an amazing experience surrogacy with this family has been.


Anonymous said...

Sounds like a great trip!!! I am getting very, very excited!!!

mackerman75 said...

I hope you know how awesome and amazing I think you are.